SITC - "Models and Mortals"

So as I advance into the world of Carrie Bradshaw and her group of 30-something, fabulous friends, episode 2 brings up a personal favorite topic, physical looks.

The episode begins with Miranda (my least favorite of the group) who is at a dinner party with a rather ordinary guy, who she later finds out is a "modelizer," a man who only dates models.

Over Chinese takeout on a Tuesday night, the girls devour this topic. As they all go over their physical flaws, compared to models, I am immediately drawn, as usual, to Samantha, who remains mum over the personal flaws conversation. When the girls confront her about this, Samantha gives the perfect answer by informing them that she loves every part of her body. While some may view Samantha as being vain, I am drawn to her confidence in her looks and attitude, something that we all know I need to improve on. In Samantha's eyes, Samantha is perfect. While the other girls complain about their bodies, Samantha gives them that "don't give a damn" attitude that I admire and covet.

Researching modelizers for her weekly column, Carrie attends a fashion show with her very stereotypically gay friend, Stanford and Samantha. While viewing the show, Samantha meets Carrie's friend Barkley, who secretly videotapes his sexual conquests, and when Samantha discovers this, she seduces him just for the chance to be on film. Stanford is also in lust with his young underwear model, Derek, who's sexuality is at the moment unknown, but he's believed to be straight.

Following the show, the group heads to an after party where Samantha goes home with Barkley and Derek, surprisingly goes home with Carrie, though they only talk and don't have sex. Miranda meets up unexpectedly with Skipper and he convinces her that she's beautiful which convinces her to allow him to go home with her where its assumed they sleep together.

The episode ends with Samantha in bed with Barkley and she asks him where the camera is. He replies to her that its not on, and that he only tapes models. Rather than being insulted, Samantha tells him to videotape them and he says he can make an exception as he turns the camera on.

My first though was "What the hell!" Had I been in Samantha's place, when he said he only taped models, my first instinct would have been to feel ugly and flee the bedroom!

That makes me wonder, how important are looks? Do we all have to look like models to get laid? If we do, what's gonna happen to the other 90% of the population who aren't starving, with flawless skin and perfect hair? I pondered this for awhile after the episode and came to the following conclusion.

Every person has, in their mind, the ideal mate. Whether they're short, tall, fat, thin, bald, hairy, big breasted or not, someone out there somewhere in the world would probably think they're the most beautiful person on earth. Based on my own experience, looks aren't at all important to me, though there are some qualities that I find extremely attractive. If I had to wake up to a stereotypical model everyday, I would go crazy! If my lover was on the cover of magazines, I would feel so self conscious that I would never remove my clothes, I would always wear heavy coats and hide in dark hallways. We won't go into the qualities that I like, but to summarize, I want someone who is proportionate to me, that I don't feel insufficient to.

With billions of people in the world, it can be hard finding someone who thinks you're ideal, versus someone who thinks you'll "do in a pinch." This is especially true in a town of only 6000 people. I believe learning this goes into the previous post about being free and taking the opportunities to pursue and find that person, without settling and developing unnecessary attachments. Who cares if that person doesn't find you're looks ideal. If you've made it far enough to get to the bedroom, obviously you aren't that hideous that you aren't considered worth it. Take the promiscuous approach, treat it as a learning experience and realize that it doesn't matter what the other person thinks. Treat it like Samantha Jones. If he doesn't think you're model material, treat yourself like you're model material. You're giving him a privilege, the privilege of being with you.

It's gonna take some personal practice for me to do this, to practice what I preach, but as a 20-something in today's world, that makes it a fun part of the game.