Monday, February 8, 2010

Sex in the City, the first episode

So a few weeks ago I decided that I wanted to watch the entire series of the HBO sitcom "Sex in the City." Those of you that know me know that I cannot "get into" a television series without being able to watch it in sequential order to know what's going on, so I finally went to Hastings yesterday and bought the season one dvd set. Over the years I've heard that this was a remarkable show and besides the humor, there are several scenarios that can be related to by young singles in the real world. Hopefully watching the series, and blogging about it will lead me to discover things about myself as well as the happenings in the real world.

The first episode begins with a "story" of a young girl, transplanted to New York from London who falls in loose love with a gentleman and then has her heart broken. She's being interviewed by Carrie Bradshaw (Jessica Parker) who then introduces us to her diverse, yet fabulous group of friends, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha Jones. I feel an immediate connection with Charlotte, and fall immediately in love with Samantha. The four women, who are obviously totally different in looks and personality, have an unseen electric connection that binds them, and the actresses play their parts very well. Over Miranda's birthday party, the girls finally get into a good conversation, having sex "like men."

My first thought was "are they men bashers?" I am a supporter for feminism, but I don't like when any group is categorized about being all the same. But back to the conversation. The girls vow to begin having promiscuous sex without the attachment, the way that they feel men do. Charlotte immediately shows resistance, which leads me to believe that she may be a bit conservative regarding her sexuality, and may even be considered a "romantic." Again this signifies my connection with her. While I am definitely not prudish in the least, I do have a bit of a romantic streak, with contradicts the need for "no attachment." Samantha Jones, who is a very confident woman, decides that there is no problem with the idea, which also sparks a bit of envy in me that she can be so loose and comfortable with herself.

So to summarize the episode, Carrie has a fling with an ex lover, and successfully pulls it off w/o attachment. Miranda goes on a date with Carrie's friend Skipper who is an obvious nerd, and Charlotte goes on a date with a man that she decides not to sleep with, so he goes to a club and ends up taking Samantha home. We are introduced to "Mr. Big," who has an attraction to Carrie, and though I don't care for his character, he does say something of interest. While Carrie is explaining her job and the week's topic to Mr. Big, he contradicts her and tells her that not all men are able to sleep with someone without attachment. When she asks him why, he counter questions her asking her if she's ever been in love. After dropping her off at her apartment, Carrie asks him if he's ever been in love, to which he replies, "abso-fucking-lutely." Then the episode ends.

Could that be the key? Could being in love once in life be a definition to being able to be loose and free from the need of attachment? Or is it just in a person's emotional make up? Is it related to the way a person was raised? I was raised in a traditional lifestyle where the norm is to date someone, settle down and get into a life "rut" of marriage, kids and a job you hate, but so were hundreds of others I know, some who can go out to be promiscuous, and some who marry the first person they sleep with and settle down before they can legally consume alcohol.

Personally I hate that idea. I have the same mindset as Samantha Jones, and believe that life is meant to be abundant, sex fun, and in the end the only person that matters is yourself. I also have nowhere near the self confidence needed to live that lifestyle. As much as I like, yet pity her, I can also relate to Charlotte, not jumping straight into bed with one of the city's most unattainable bachelors because she doesn't want to be just another notch in the bedpost. Maybe she feels that she's just being used? Maybe Charlotte doesn't have the self confidence needed to "do it for herself."

We also must consider the idea of reputation. Being from a small town, a person's reputation can make or break them. Population is the variable in what I call the "slut factor." In a small town, a person who gets around sexually automatically gets labeled as a "slut" or "whore." In a large city, it doesn't matter as much, since there are more people and the chances of gossip and rumors getting to potential employers, landlords and people that have known you since you were a child are much less. I also feel that self confidence has a large part in this because no-one wants to be labeled as a whore, but people like Samantha Jones know they're fabulous and obviously don't care what people around them think. After all, in Samantha's eyes, Samantha is most important, which is something I totally believe in, but again don't have the confidence to follow through with.

Its obvious that in my research I pursue different scenarios and variables that define the ability for promiscuous, un-attached hook ups with randoms. Being in love once in my life, I will take that into consideration, and also since my history of "hook ups," which there honestly haven't been many, have been mostly via alcohol usage I will need to enlarge the scale and begin taking notes.

This doesn't mean I'm going to turn into a major slut lol. I plan to get out more, interview a variety of people and compile results as any competent researcher does, though participating in some research myself is not totally out of the question.

Above all, I'm a young adult, I'm semi-attractive, smart enough, and driven enough to learn as much as I can in this lifetime regarding whatever topics I want. This is my only life as Chase Simmons, and I plan to learn as much as I can about Chase Simmons and help make him as successful as possible. Whether this effects my reputation positively, negatively or whatever, I plan on being like Samantha Jones, in charge of my own life and loving myself more than anything.

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