Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Attached- A mini story

More freewriting. This is something I used to do awhile back as a hobby. I write a story about feelings, in an artish way. Please let me know what you think. If my readers would like, I would be glad to continue this. FYI There is always something true about my thoughts in this writing. The majority may be fiction, but it is based on realness.

Attached, but not to each other

The bar is jamming. I'm alone as always, enjoying the music, atmosphere and my vodka. Through the smoke filled bar I see you sitting alone, against the wall.

My heart flutters.

You smile at me and wink. Those beautiful dark deep eyes staring in my direction, and the way you lick your juicy lips sends a flash of red through my face. All of a sudden everyone else in the bar becomes non-existant, and the connection between our eyes grows stronger.

My heart flutters.

As you get up and walk in my direction, recognition takes form. I never thought I would see you here. Our relationship is different, one of coworkers, not of bar friends. I down the last of my vodka as you take a seat beside me. You smile and my temperature rises. I cannot act a fool in front of you. I want you to want me, just as I have lusted after you in my heart for the past several months.After a 5 year break of seeing you when we were younger, I realize that both of us have changed, for the better. You put your hand softly over mine, and stroke my palms with your fingertip.

My heart flutters.

"Please stay here" I whisper as I jump up towards the bar where I order my drink plus a shot of Stoli. After downing the shot, I make my way towards my table, with you waiting. I've got to be a good guy. Since we've been reintroduced after the 5 year break, you appear to like me more, and I want it to stay that way. I never would have guessed you liked me in a more serious way, one that I secretly yearned for since our reintroduction.You look up, smile and say "Hello."

My heart flutters (Damn Heart)

I smile, and stare at you with my green/grey eyes. Eyes that a past lover claimed I could hyptnotize someone with.
"Hello" I murmer. "Nice seeing you here tonight."
You reply "I heard this is where you were on Friday nights. I wanted to see if it was true"

My heart double flutters

I can feel the burning in my face, as well as my loins. I grab your other hand and display a seductive smile. You'r hands are soft and warm, unlike the night outside the bar. You grab my hand and slowly raiseit towards your face, where you lightly kiss my hand, almost as if I was royalty.

My heart flutters.

"I'm excited to see you here" I stutter out. I could use a whole bottle of Stoli versus another shot at this time. You tell me you are also, but its loud and you want to talk. We grab our belongings and go to pay our tabs for the night, where I shoot another ounce of Stoli.

My heart is turning somersaults

We walk to the open courtyard/garden a few blocks away. Lovers fill the park benches, blankets on grass and even propped up on picnic tables.
I lead you towards a dark corner of the courtyard. My secret place where i daydream frequently, and spend alone time. Behind the large, fragrant rose bushes growing there, we embrace.

My heart is about to come out my chest

We embrace and my hands cannot help but wander. I notice your's are too! All of a sudden our lips meet. I swear I see fireworks! The kiss, slow at first, develops into an attack of passion in which no-one, yet everyone is winning at once. My knees go weak, my netherlands stronger.

My heart is beyond fluttering

Thoughts begin to race through my head. I must have you, and it must be tonight! Places cross my mind, yet my body is still in the shaded corner of the garden, it's midnight with a full moon. Kissing and rubbing and hugging, it feels as if neither of us can get enough of one another. My mind is recollecting memories about our recent reintroduction into each others' lives and I pinch myself to assure that I am in reality

My heart flutters.

Then, out of nowhere, I hear him, calling your name. I know him workwise, and I know his reputation of being possessive. I ask what's going on, and those gorgeous deep eyes are frozen in fear. I ask again, in which you say "shhh" and listen to him calling, looking for you. I realize at once what you are to him. You are already someone's mate, and I am left out.

My heart cracks.

You grab my chin fiercly, and look me in the eyes. You tell me you care about me and want me like you've never wanted another. "But him" I state. You apoligize and say that you are confused. He has not been bad to you and you would hate to hurt him. You have always been moralistic, an area that I lack greatly in, so I try to understand.He sounds worried, yet I wanna say "Fuck Him" and stay here in our hidded paradise. You look me in the eyes again and say you must go to him, but can we see each other again.

My heart struggles to beat

I hesitate. I look at those deep eyes. I can still taste those delicious lips and swell your aroma, reminiscent of cinnamon and caramel, like your complexion.I have been in a similar situation before. I know how it feels to be the "other" man. I know how everyone involves hurts, and feelings of love can evolve into feelings of hate. I curse the fates for their humor.Your eyes are still locked on mine. I walk up to you and embrace you. I kiss those fantastic lips once again. I whisper in your ear. "Go. See me again when you have the chance." You look at me and I hope its too dark for you to see the single tear I let fall during my comprehension of the situation.

My heart hurts

You look at me, kiss me on my hands, neck and lips. You smile with your naiveness and try to tell me that everything will work out. You tell me that we will discuss this situation in person on Monday. You claim to have waited a long time to get over the fear of approaching me, and since the feeling is mutual, you must pursue these feelings that have been harbored for so long. You kiss me again, on my neck. I hear him call again for you. You look at me, ask for forgiveness and before I know it, you are beside him, looking like the ideal couple.

My heart breaks...

1 comment:

  1. Awww.... :'( That's so sad!!! I mean, it certainly didnt start out sad... I wasnt sure where it was leading at first, and I started to think that maybe it should have had a "rated R" note at the top, but by the end of it I wanted to cry. Unfortunately, I was that girl once. And to hear it from the "the other guy"s point of view... it was just heartbreaking.