Research Paper Final Draft... All 18 pages :)

Table of Contents

I. Introduction

II. Historical Perspective

III. Identification of Problem

IV. Proposed Methods of Improvement

V. Summary and Conclusion

VI. References Used


The problem that will be discussed is the issue of juvenile/adolescent sexual offenders in present day society. This topic was selected as the problem of research due to the increased number of juvenile sexual offenders noticed, which have appeared in the media, including the circumstances and variables of causes for occurrences, such as decreased parental supervision, medical and/or mental disorders, societal influences on adolescents regarding nature and norms of sexual behavior, and other possible factors that contribute to increased sexual behaviors in individuals that could cause or result in these individuals displaying a maladaptive sexual behavior while classified as a juvenile. For reference purposes, the term “Juvenile and/or Adolescent (Sexual) Offender” within this project will be defined as “a youth, from puberty to the legal age of majority, who commits any sexual act with a person of any age, against the victims will, without consent, or in an aggressive, exploitive or threatening manner.” (Ryan, Lane, Davis, & Isaac, 2010) The term “sexual abuse, crime or inappropriate behavior” will be defined as contact that “is sexual in nature and that occurs without consent, without equality, and as a result of coercion, manipulation, game-playing, or deception.” (Children’s Services, 2002)
Current policies and laws implemented within the legal system regarding treatment, consequences, risks of re-offending, methods of prevention and other practices will be addressed in order to critique effectiveness and depth of developmental factors addressed in the legal system which target the prevention and management of inappropriate sexual behaviors within the adolescent population in order to lower the future instances and occurrences of these behaviors and effectively treat individuals who have committed these offenses with the goal of reducing the current statistics in the future. Variable factors will be considered, including the percentages of sexual offenders who are male versus those who are female, as well as ratio of male to females as victims in sexual crimes involving adolescents. Another factor of consideration includes cases of offenders who are classified as incapacitated within the court system, such as juveniles being dually diagnosed with both mental illness and mental retardation. Statistics of individuals committing sexual offenses from various ranges of age within the classification of juvenile and adolescent will be considered, as well as recidivism statistics within various age ranges and other factors deemed relevant which could support research and conclusions determined in regards to specific causes and diagnoses influencing adolescent sexual offenders within various age, developmental, gender-based, ethnic and cultural groups in which these crimes occur.
Research in this area is significant due to the increased number of sexual crimes committed by adolescent individuals in the present time versus statistics reported in decades past. (Jones, M., 2007) Increased sexual crimes committed by juveniles today is significant due to the impact these crimes have on the future of society, since the juveniles of today are the adults of the future, which include the future workforce, political influences, developers of policies or laws, media reporters, and even celebrities who’s sexual values and practices will have influence on the youth of the following generation. The impact of increased sexual offenders classified as juvenile is also deemed relevant and in need of addressing due to the fact that those who are victims of sexual crimes impact the future of society as well, and as research shows, victims of sexual offenses often are affected mentally to the point of developing mental or emotional disorders and even, in some cases, developing inappropriate sexual behaviors themselves, which may result in a victim of a sexual abuse crime victimizing someone else in a sexual nature, which results in the chain of sexual offenses growing to include even more offenders. (Hickey, E.W., 2006)
Addressing the problem of sexual offenses committed and the resulting treatment, care and methods of prevention of further damage or offenses is also greatly relevant due to the fact that discussion of experiences, results, and findings already completed can provide insight to efficiently diagnose and treat both offenders and victims in a faster or more productive way due to past data of similar occurrences being used to determine methods which may or may not have been affective in past instances, which results in researchers saving time, money and resources by referencing these instances, as well as possible effectiveness in treatment and care of offenders and victims by comparing signs, symptoms and crimes to past examples of a similar nature which may have resulted in either positive and successful results in managing issues or poor and devastating results, which increase likelihood of similar results, which addresses issues regarding humane and ethical treatment, as obviously, a method of which the end results were found to be negative or devastating would not want to be tried numerous times, while instances which resulted in positive or successful rates of treatment and management would likely want to be repeated in similar cases, which would hopefully result in findings that resemble the original results, allowing time, money and resources be spent on the discovery of successful treatment for cases of behaviors or acts which may not have as much documented research or findings within that specified field or area, allowing improvement and increased data collection within the field of juvenile sexual crimes. This, in turn, would provide improvement, as a whole, which would assist in development of future research and positive treatment or care to those who become involved with the system as offenders or victims in future generations. (Rich, P., 2003)
Goals of compilation and publishing of research, findings and recommendations regarding juvenile and adolescent sexual offenders in society involve many objectives. These include increasing awareness of the problem to general society, relaying results of findings of research to a broad audience in hopes of sharing instances and results to those involved with increasing efficiency and productive results within the field and providing a compilation of methods, examples and instances for reference in the future to provide assistance and relevant input within the chosen career field of Psychological Human Services, specifically the field of juveniles with mental or developmental disabilities and/or disorders of a forensic nature and involvement within the court system, in order to actively contribute and provide successful methods of treatment, training and prevention in the field and specific area involving employment. Further goals include the compilation of information to be presented and referenced should the career opportunity of teaching Psychology within an institution of higher education become available and accessed, in order to have organized referenced documentation involving the subject of sexual offenders of a juvenile classification be accessible for sharing and distribution, which will assist in efficiently sharing results of researched information and procedures of treatment and care which can be evaluated and studied for means of improvement of the said procedures or suggest areas in which further research and/or improvement is needed, which will positively effect the field, as a whole by sharing this information with students who may go to work within the field of criminal psychology involving juvenile criminal sexual behaviors in various areas, which will further distribute the information with the hope of gaining consistency and targeting areas of need, which will also improve study of the field as a whole. (Children’s Service, 2002)
The study of juvenile sexual offenses has not been widely pursued as a subject of interest in the field of criminal psychology in a historical perspective. Per Jones, (2007) one of the most documented studies of adolescent sexual offenses occurred in the early 1980s, when a therapist named Robert Longo began treating adolescent boys who had committed sexual offenses. Offenses of the boys ranged from fondling peers a few years younger than they were to the outright raping of young children. Treatment included in Longo’s research included the boys keeping journals with details of sexual fantasies, as well as documentation of logs that tracked the frequency of these fantasies and their extent of severity, such as whether the fantasy was “a passing thought,” or severe enough that the individual had to “act” on the thoughts to which self-gratification was deemed necessary. Longo based treatment on the idea that sex offending is an addiction and that teenagers should be monitored for any triggers that may initiate a “cycle” of re-offending. With this approach in mind, Longo developed treatment in the form of “relapse-prevention plans,” which would track probable stimuli in risk of re-offending as well as an “action plan” should targeted stimuli come in contact with the individual. (Jones, 2007).
Historically, the perspective of juvenile sexual offenders was considered “new” in the 1980s. Much of the treatment, including that of Longo, was based on the same techniques used in the treatment model of adult sexual offenders. Adult offenders, however, do not account for development within an adolescent as well as the impact of family and environment affect the behavior of the adolescent. It appears that juveniles who commit offenses of a sexual nature tend to differ from adult sexual offenders. (Aggrawal, 2009) It is estimated that juveniles account for almost 25% of documented sexual offenses in the United States. Statistics show that rape, which can be construed as the most serious of sexual offenses in juveniles has declined in the last decade, court cases involving other sexual offenses in adolescents have risen. (Children’s Service, 2002) During the period of the late 1980’s and early 1990’s, following Longo’s experimental research, it appeared that sex offenses in general weren’t taken seriously by the justice system, and cases involving juvenile offenders were especially noted as not being thoroughly addressed. At the same time, however, it appears the public was taking an active interest and the victims’ rights movement in society began. (Jones, 2007) Attention to sexual abuse was being demanded and at this time the development of centers and hot-lines for rape crisis were being developed and the government began allotting states money within the budget for victim services.
In the early 1990’s the topic of crimes committed of a sexual nature became one of the leading sensations of the media. News stories began targeting the stories of young girls who were raped and sometimes murdered, even though the majority of offenses against juveniles (80%-90%) are committed by someone the victim knows. (Ryan, Lane, Davis, Isaac, 2010) Author, Philip Jenkins (1998), states that with the increased awareness of sexual crimes, society’s next step was to focus on the offenders, including adolescent offenders, which was one of the biggest fears in society due to the media implementing a state of constant paranoia. Per Jenkins, “first it’s adult predators, and then it’s ‘what about children?’ To draw attention, you have to up the ante. The issue moves up a notch and you can’t move it back so easily.”
With the increased awareness that resulted from the media’s huge grasp on sexually related crimes as well as the government’s interest sparking in the field, the recognition and regulation of sexual crimes and offenders appeared to flourish in the early 1990’s. One of the best known examples is Megan’s Law, which was implemented in 1996. (Rathus, Nevid, Fichner-Rathus, 2011) Since 1994 federal law has required many offenders of sexual crimes to register with the police in order to provide possible aid in investigations regarding sex-crimes. Megan’s Law, taking this a step further, mandates that local law enforcement agencies provide public notification to the community about convicted offenders within the community. In the current times of increased technological awareness; this law, which also goes by Community-Notification Law, often uses websites to provide access to this information. There is no distinction between juvenile and adult offenders on these websites, however, meaning on many state websites for sexual offenders, one can find the names, addresses, date of birth, as well as oftentimes photographs of juveniles who have committed any sexual offense. (Jones, 2007) According to Jones (2007), the increase in federal awareness has heightened the targeting of juvenile sexual offenders through the Adam Walsh Child Protection and Safety Act. This act authorized the creation of a federal internet based registry that allows law enforcement officials to tract sex offenders, ages 14 and older, who have engaged in genital, anal or oral-genital contact with children younger than 12.
Throughout the past three decades, awareness of sexual crimes, including those committed by adolescents, has drastically risen. With the implementation of Megan’s Law and the Adam Walsh Child Protection and Safety Act the community is eased from some of their paranoia through the access of knowledge via notification by law enforcement. It appears, however, that the classification of adolescent has been somewhat contradicted when sexual crimes are the focus of study. For the most part, the records of youths’ are protected from being publicly discussed and remain confidential. This appears to be contributed to a theory that children are less responsible for their actions in part to cognitive development, meaning that they are less worthy of blame and possibly more amenable to rehabilitation. With the two aforementioned acts, however, this issue of confidentiality is ignored since the photographs, addresses and ages of sexual offenders are published for anyone to view, alongside those of adult offenders. Based on the limited information found regarding research and studies of juvenile sexual offenders that has occurred, as well as the broad federal laws affecting sexual offenders as a group, versus distinguished into age categories, it appears that juvenile sexual offenders are not classified the same as adolescents within the juvenile justice system who commit other, non-sexual, acts. It appears the justice system considers adolescent sexual offenders to be more fixed in traits, incurable and more dangerous. One could construe from this that the justice system classifies juveniles who have committed sex crimes to be more similar to adults that have committed sexual crimes than they are to juveniles who have committed other, non-sexual crimes.
Based on a review of the historical perspective of sexual offenses committed by adolescents regarding the topic of this research it appears that there are several “problems” to be identified and addressed. The largest of these problems, which consumes many of the related issues, is simply the lack of organized research that has been targeted on juvenile sexual offenders as a unique class of offenders. Much of the found history of the development of programs to treat, prevent and manage behaviors of adolescent sexual offenders has been the same types of treatment used in programs that treat adult sexual offenders. Based on research found it appears that many of the current laws affecting individuals who are adolescent sexual offenders offer the same consequences as adult offenders often receive when sentenced.
It is found that the brain of a human continues to develop and grow until the individual reaches the age of 21 to 22. (Rathus, Nevis, Fichner-Rathus, 2011) Due to this finding, it should be considered that the treatment, training and rehabilitation of adolescent sexual offenders should be focused on the psychological aspect of human cognitive development versus the type of crime committed. When an adolescent has committed a crime of a sexual nature, the source of the urges should be validly explored and attempted to be determined in order to seek the appropriate consequences and method of rehabilitation in order to minimize the chances of reoccurrence as much as possible. Various factors, statistics and variables should be considered when evaluating an adolescent involved in an inappropriate sexual behavior.
Society tends to teach female children in early childhood to be aware of the potential risk of victimization and to avoid situations which could result in becoming a victim of a sexual crime. It appears however that the victimization of males is not considered as thoroughly, though male children are more often victims of serious physical injury from abuse than females and make up at least 25% of the victims of sexual abuse. Males of all ages are oftentimes victims of both violent crimes and property crimes than their female peers. (Ryan, Lane, Davis, Isaac, 2010) While considering this information it is also recommended to consider the lack of recognition of the impact of abuse on the male victim available. Research shows there are very few services for male victims that attempt to identify and aid in him coping with the feelings that occur upon being the victim of abuse. These feelings include anger, powerlessness and lack of control, all of which contradicts the influences males receive through various channels of appropriate feelings when growing up. (Children’s Service, 2002) Male children are often brought up with the expectation of learning to protect and defend oneself. If school children are playing on a playground, and a female child is hit by a peer, she is told to report the incident to the teacher, seeking protection. The male child, however, is often taught to “hit him back,” which teaches the male that he must learn to protect himself, and that there will be no one to protect him if he cannot protect himself. Consequently, when a young male is victimized, he finds himself powerless to defend himself, and when he is the victim of sexual abuse, the feeling of vulnerability would most likely go even deeper than one of physical abuse, since sexual abuse is often said to affect one’s emotional security on a deeper level. (Jenkins, 1998) Male children are brought up to believe that he has failed as a male, and perhaps was even at fault for his victimization. With that feeling, and lack of support, it is very unlikely that he will seek help or protection, instead internalizing the security of his own victimization, repressing the feelings of anger and powerlessness. It will likely be found, however, that these feelings are unable to be permanently repressed, and will eventually be released on someone else, creating another victimization, ultimately returning that sense of power and providing an outlet for the repressed anger.
There are numerous theories proposed to explain why some children and teens sexually abuse others, though there is so solid evidence of any “formula” supporting concrete evidence of the reason this occurs. The theory most widely accepted today is known as the “learning theory,” which states that sexually abusive behavior in children can be linked to various factors. These factors include extreme exposure to violence and/or sexuality, victimization experiences in early childhood, exposure to pornography, substance abuse and exposure to aggressive role models involving family violence. (Hickey, 2006) (Children’s Service, 2002)
While the problem states that there is limited research pertaining to juvenile sexual offenders, as a group, research shows what can be expected; that every child is unique. Because of this, adolescents who commit sexual crimes, and all crimes in general, can have various behavior traits and the progression of these traits can greatly vary from one child to another. There are, however, some traits that that tend to be prominent among adolescent sexual offenders. Rich (2003) explains that approximately nine of ten adolescent sexual offenders are male, and that most commit their primary sexual offense before the age of 12-14. It should also be noted that adolescent sexual offenders are found in every class, socioeconomically, and in every racial, ethnic, religious and cultural group. (Knox & Schacht, 2010) Adolescents who sexually abuse tend to be more likely to have a history of being physically, sexually or otherwise abused. Jenkins (2008) estimates that somewhere between 40% to 80% of adolescents who exhibit inappropriate sexual behaviors have an incident of being sexually abused, themselves, and around 20% to 50% have been victims of physical abuse.
Robert Longo, who’s done some of the most variable research and studies on sexual offenders in adolescence believes that some history of victimization is practically universal within the class of juvenile offenders. Longo states, “As I think back to the thousands of sex offenders I have interviewed and the hundreds I have treated, I cannot think of many cases in which a patient didn’t have some history of abuse, neglect, family dysfunction, or some form of maltreatment within his or her history.” (Jones, 2007)
According to Volume VII, Section II of Children’s Service Progress Notes (May 2002) juvenile sexual offenders share some other common traits as well. These include having difficulties with impulse control and judgment and somewhere between 30% to 60% of adolescent offenders are affected by learning disabilities and/or academic dysfunction. It’s also estimated that up to 80% of juvenile sexual offenders have a diagnosable, and often treatable, psychiatric disorder.
It should also be noted that research has shown that a minority of sexually abusive children have deviant sexual arousal and interest patterns. Most patterns of sexual arousal among adolescent offenders tend to be recurrent and intense and usually are directly connected to the nature of the sexual behavioral issue, whether it be arousal to young children, dominating/forceful sexual behaviors or even the emotional need of contact which can lead to frotteurism or voyeurism. (Hickey, 2006) Clinical observation and empirical research indicate that sexual offenders of an adolescent classification fall into two groups: those who sexually abuse children, and those who victimize peers and groups. (Children’s Service, 2002) The individuals within the two groups tend to have clear differences in victims they select, patterns of offense, social/criminal histories, behavioral patterns and treatment required.
While research has been performed to solidify theories that juvenile sexual offenders are different than adult offenders in many ways, including reasons for offending, developmental factors, undiagnosed or untreated psychiatric disorders and exposure to stimulating factors within the home environment the problem still exists within the most prominent weakness in the issue addressed; the means of treatment, consequences, and future directions to minimize reoccurrence in order to help these juveniles overcome obstacles causing them to commit sexual crimes. The legal system, and society as a whole tends to be more focused on assuring the individual is acknowledged and “classed” as a sex offender than they are on seeking answers and effective treatment.
In order to productively impact the issue of sexual offenders in the juvenile population it appears as if the entire stance of focus by the legal system and society on the group should be amended in the way that adolescent sexual offenders are viewed. Rather than viewing the group as, first, sex offenders, perhaps the individuals should instead be looked at primarily as children. Per Jones (2007), research by the National Institutes of Health shows that the human brain doesn’t complete the maturing process until the person is in their early to mid 20s. In the 2005 case of Roper v. Simmons the Supreme Court acknowledged this when they determined adolescents, even up to the age of 17, were not appropriate for the death penalty because they “cannot with reliability be classified among the worst offenders,” due to this lack of development. The final stages of development within the brain occur in the frontal lobe, which things adolescents lack in the decision making process are learned, such as impulse control, development of morals and emotion regulation. (Rathus, S.A., Nevid, J.S., Fichner-Rathus, L., 2011) This means adolescents tend to be impulsive, while adult offenders who have completed this development tend to be more compulsive, leading to behaviors such as grooming, where the offender selects their victim and could spend weeks or months in preparation of the sexual victimization. Though juveniles can easily determine the difference between right and wrong, the perceiving of the possible risks and consequences are often not considered. When applied to individuals who may have a developmental disorder or psychiatric illness, this impulse control can be even more weak within the individual’s mind. While there are currently treatment facilities for juvenile offenders, many are often committed only after they have performed what the court defines as a “serious” incident (which can vary among courts), and often these facilities focus on treatment of the sexual behavior, alone, instead of looking at the juvenile as a whole and discovering the root of the problem, why the offense was committed and what can possibly be done to assist in the further development of the child to correct the weak area in development and/or the environmental factors which could have contributed to the committing of the offense and what can be done to prevent further instances of inappropriate behavior.
While treatment facilities can be effective if needs are targeted correctly, it is felt that these facilities should take a “step-up” in their means of preventing further incidents. Also the justice system, as a whole, should began viewing adolescent sexual offenders as individuals who have not completed the cognitive development process versus viewing them as hard-core sexual predators. It is important to also remember that each individual and their offense is different, and should be treated as such. Doing this would mean amending laws such as the Adam Walsh Act and similar legislation. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders a diagnosis of pedophilia requires a person to be at least 16 years old with “recurrent, intense, sexually arousing fantasies” over a period of six months or longer, and that he acts upon with a child who is at least five years younger. (Aggrawal, 2009) It appears, however, that it would be risky diagnosing a 16 year old with pedophilia. At the age of 16 a teenager’s history of sexual interest is relatively short, especially compared to that of a 40 year old who has a history of behaviors associated with pedophilia.
Juvenile assessment tests, which include questions about a youth’s sexual history, antisocial behavior and support system help clinicians evaluate risks of re-offending in adolescents. These assessments, however, have not been scientifically validated and can be difficult for juveniles due to cognitive transitions in thought based on stages of brain development. Because of this these assessments are often affective for tracking risks of immediate occurrences of inappropriate behaviors but are unreliable in determining whether the individual is a long term risk of re-offending.
Because of these cognitive transitions, the Adam Walsh Act and other similar laws risks ensnaring and labeling low-risk teens who are not heading toward becoming adult sexual offenders. Studies show that recidivism for juveniles who commit sexual offenses is around 10%. Lower than most other juvenile offenses such as property and substance crimes. (Jones, 2007) It’s also significantly lower than adult sexual offenders, which ranges from 25%-50%.
Due to these findings, it is recommended that focus be placed on the treatment, care and management of the individual in order to better prepare him or her for adult life and responsibilities. Upon committing a sexual crime, assessments should be completed to identify any factors that could contribute to the instance of sexual abuse, and treatment should be based on focusing on the factors identified, whether it be exposure to inappropriate stimuli within the home, a history of victimization towards the offender or other variables affecting development and behaviors which can be an influence within the chances of re-offending for the child.
While juvenile sexual offenders can are often involved in serious crimes involving sexual victimization of another, they are also often times involved in “experimental” or learning behaviors which end up victimizing another. Due to lack of research, stereotypes within society and legal tendencies of action towards these juveniles as sex offenders, versus undeveloped humans, there are many “holes” and areas of improvement needed within the treatment, care and management of behaviors for adolescent sexual offenders. It is recommended that the laws and legislation which has “grouped” juveniles and adults into one class of “sex offenders” be reviewed, and the legal system begin viewing adolescent sexual offenders as children first, instead of sexual offenders. Further suggestions include notice of the development process of the human brain by the juvenile justice system involving adolescent sexual offenders, which include lack of impulse control and undeveloped morals within the brain of a child. With this acknowledgement, it is recommended that the treatment and behavior management of juvenile sexual offenders be focused on the cognitive development, possible presence of undiagnosed or untreated mental or developmental disorders, as well as stimuli present within the environment of the offender which may have contributed to the offense. With this knowledge, the direction of treatment should be focused on implementing strategies which work towards overcoming identified barriers in order to assist in further brain development as the adolescent moves into adulthood. Consistent open communication regarding sexual interests should be implemented, which should be used in training the individual in appropriate sexual behavior and establish a coping mechanism for the child should they continue to get urges which may not be appropriate. Long term monitoring and frequent follow-ups are also recommended to minimize repeated instances of victimization of others, as well as to provide support to the offender as they continue to grow and mature into adults. It is believed that if this proactive approach is taken instead of classifying and punishing an adolescent offender immediately following an offense the recidivism rates will continue to drop, and the knowledge of appropriate behavior will also become more wide-spread, assisting individuals who are vulnerable to having inappropriate sexual behaviors in coping with pressures which may be resulted from media, celebrities, peers, or other negative influences.








References
1) Aggrawal, A. (2009). Forensic and Medico-legal Aspects of Sexual Crimes and Unusual Sexual Practices. Boca Raton, FL 33487: CRC Press: Taylor & Francis Group.

2) Children’s Service Practice Notes, Vol. VII, Sec. II. (May 2002). Working With Juvenile Sexual Offenders. Jordan Institute for Families. N.C. Retrieved from http://www.practicenotes.org/vol7_no2/understand_jso.htm

3) Hickey, E. W. (2006). Part VII: Harming Children. Part IX: Treating Sex Offenders and Community Attitudes. Sex Crimes and Paraphilia, 307-361, 449-479. Upper Saddle River, NJ, 07458: Pearson Education Inc.

4) Jenkins, P. (1998). Moral Panic: Changing Concepts of the Child Molester in Modern America. New Haven, CT. 06520. Yale University Press.

5) Jones, M., (2007). How Do You Distinguish a Budding Pedophile From a Kid With Real Boundary Problems?. The New York Times: Magazine. The New York Times Company. Retrieved from http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/22/magazine/22juvenile-t.html.

6) Knox. D., Schacht. C., (2010). Ch. VIII: Violence & Abuse in Relationships. Ch. VIV: Stress & Crisis in Relationships. Epilogue: The Future of Marriage & the Family. Choices in Relationships: An Introduction to Marriage and the Family, (Tenth ed.). 419-481, 586-587. Belmont, CA 94002: Wadsworth, Cengage- Learning.

7) Rathus, S.A., Nevid, J.S., Fichner-Rathus, L., (2011). Human Sexuality in a World of Diversity (International Edition), (Eight ed.). Boston, MA 02116: Pearson Ed. Inc.

8) Rich, P., (2003). Understanding, Assessing & Rehabilitating Juvenile Sexual Offenders, (Second ed.). Hoboken, New Jersey: John Wiley & Sons, Inc.

9) Ryan, G., Lane, S., Davis, J., Isaac, C., (2010). Adolescence Sex Offenders. Child Abuse and Neglect: The International Journal. Retrieved from http://www.hopefs.org/Behavior/juvenilesexoffenders.html.

Research Paper DRAFT for Criminal Psych: Part III Statement of Problem

Statement of the Problem:
Based on a review of the historical perspective of sexual offenses committed by adolescents regarding the topic of this research it appears that there are several “problems” to be identified and addressed. The largest of these problems, which consumes many of the related issues, is simply the lack of organized research that has been targeted on juvenile sexual offenders as a unique class of offenders. Much of the found history of the development of programs to treat, prevent and manage behaviors of adolescent sexual offenders has been the same types of treatment used in programs that treat adult sexual offenders. Based on research found it appears that many of the current laws affecting individuals who are adolescent sexual offenders offer the same consequences as adult offenders often receive when sentenced.
It is found that the brain of a human continues to develop and grow until the individual reaches the age of 21 to 22. (Rathus, Nevis, Fichner-Rathus, 2011) Due to this finding, it should be considered that the treatment, training and rehabilitation of adolescent sexual offenders should be focused on the psychological aspect of human cognitive development versus the type of crime committed. When an adolescent has committed a crime of a sexual nature, the source of the urges should be validly explored and attempted to be determined in order to seek the appropriate consequences and method of rehabilitation in order to minimize the chances of reoccurrence as much as possible. Various factors, statistics and variables should be considered when evaluating an adolescent involved in an inappropriate sexual behavior.
Society tends to teach female children in early childhood to be aware of the potential risk of victimization and to avoid situations which could result in becoming a victim of a sexual crime. It appears however that the victimization of males is not considered as thoroughly, though male children are more often victims of serious physical injury from abuse than females and make up at least 25% of the victims of sexual abuse. Males of all ages are oftentimes victims of both violent crimes and property crimes than their female peers. (Ryan, Lane, Davis, Isaac, 2010) While considering this information it is also recommended to consider the lack of recognition of the impact of abuse on the male victim available. Research shows there are very few services for male victims that attempt to identify and aid in him coping with the feelings that occur upon being the victim of abuse. These feelings include anger, powerlessness and lack of control, all of which contradicts the influences males receive through various channels of appropriate feelings when growing up. (Children’s Service, 2002) Male children are often brought up with the expectation of learning to protect and defend oneself. If school children are playing on a playground, and a female child is hit by a peer, she is told to report the incident to the teacher, seeking protection. The male child, however, is often taught to “hit him back,” which teaches the male that he must learn to protect himself, and that there will be no one to protect him if he cannot protect himself. Consequently, when a young male is victimized, he finds himself powerless to defend himself, and when he is the victim of sexual abuse, the feeling of vulnerability would most likely go even deeper than one of physical abuse, since sexual abuse is often said to affect one’s emotional security on a deeper level. (Jenkins, 1998) Male children are brought up to believe that he has failed as a male, and perhaps was even at fault for his victimization. With that feeling, and lack of support, it is very unlikely that he will seek help or protection, instead internalizing the security of his own victimization, repressing the feelings of anger and powerlessness. It will likely be found, however, that these feelings are unable to be permanently repressed, and will eventually be released on someone else, creating another victimization, ultimately returning that sense of power and providing an outlet for the repressed anger.
There are numerous theories proposed to explain why some children and teens sexually abuse others, though there is so solid evidence of any “formula” supporting concrete evidence of the reason this occurs. The theory most widely accepted today is known as the “learning theory,” which states that sexually abusive behavior in children can be linked to various factors. These factors include extreme exposure to violence and/or sexuality, victimization experiences in early childhood, exposure to pornography, substance abuse and exposure to aggressive role models involving family violence. (Hickey, 2006) (Children’s Service, 2002)
While the problem states that there is limited research pertaining to juvenile sexual offenders, as a group, research shows what can be expected; that every child is unique. Because of this, adolescents who commit sexual crimes, and all crimes in general, can have various behavior traits and the progression of these traits can greatly vary from one child to another. There are, however, some traits that that tend to be prominent among adolescent sexual offenders. Rich (2003) explains that approximately nine of ten adolescent sexual offenders are male, and that most commit their primary sexual offense before the age of 12-14. It should also be noted that adolescent sexual offenders are found in every class, socioeconomically, and in every racial, ethnic, religious and cultural group. (Knox & Schacht, 2010) Adolescents who sexually abuse tend to be more likely to have a history of being physically, sexually or otherwise abused. Jenkins (2008) estimates that somewhere between 40% to 80% of adolescents who exhibit inappropriate sexual behaviors have an incident of being sexually abused, themselves, and around 20% to 50% have been victims of physical abuse.
Robert Longo, who’s done some of the most variable research and studies on sexual offenders in adolescence believes that some history of victimization is practically universal within the class of juvenile offenders. Longo states, “As I think back to the thousands of sex offenders I have interviewed and the hundreds I have treated, I cannot think of many cases in which a patient didn’t have some history of abuse, neglect, family dysfunction, or some form of maltreatment within his or her history.” (Jones, 2007)
According to Volume VII, Section II of Children’s Service Progress Notes (May 2002) juvenile sexual offenders share some other common traits as well. These include having difficulties with impulse control and judgment and somewhere between 30% to 60% of adolescent offenders are affected by learning disabilities and/or academic dysfunction. It’s also estimated that up to 80% of juvenile sexual offenders have a diagnosable, and often treatable, psychiatric disorder.
It should also be noted that research has shown that a minority of sexually abusive children have deviant sexual arousal and interest patterns. Most patterns of sexual arousal among adolescent offenders tend to be recurrent and intense and usually are directly connected to the nature of the sexual behavioral issue, whether it be arousal to young children, dominating/forceful sexual behaviors or even the emotional need of contact which can lead to frotteurism or voyeurism. (Hickey, 2006) Clinical observation and empirical research indicate that sexual offenders of an adolescent classification fall into two groups: those who sexually abuse children, and those who victimize peers and groups. (Children’s Service, 2002) The individuals within the two groups tend to have clear differences in victims they select, patterns of offense, social/criminal histories, behavioral patterns and treatment required.
While research has been performed to solidify theories that juvenile sexual offenders are different than adult offenders in many ways, including reasons for offending, developmental factors, undiagnosed or untreated psychiatric disorders and exposure to stimulating factors within the home environment the problem still exists within the most prominent weakness in the issue addressed; the means of treatment, consequences, and future directions to minimize reoccurrence in order to help these juveniles overcome obstacles causing them to commit sexual crimes. The legal system, and society as a whole tends to be more focused on assuring the individual is acknowledged and “classed” as a sex offender than they are on seeking answers and effective treatment.

Research Paper DRAFT for Criminal Psych: Part II (History)

Historical Perspective: (8 of 15 Pages Complete)

The study of juvenile sexual offenses has not been widely pursued as a subject of interest in the field of criminal psychology in a historical perspective. Per Jones, (2007) one of the most documented studies of adolescent sexual offenses occurred in the early 1980s, when a therapist named Robert Longo began treating adolescent boys who had committed sexual offenses. Offenses of the boys ranged from fondling peers a few years younger than they were to the outright raping of young children. Treatment included in Longo’s research included the boys keeping journals with details of sexual fantasies, as well as documentation of logs that tracked the frequency of these fantasies and their extent of severity, such as whether the fantasy was “a passing thought,” or severe enough that the individual had to “act” on the thoughts to which self-gratification was deemed necessary. Longo based treatment on the idea that sex offending is an addiction and that teenagers should be monitored for any triggers that may initiate a “cycle” of re-offending. With this approach in mind, Longo developed treatment in the form of “relapse-prevention plans,” which would track probable stimuli in risk of re-offending as well as an “action plan” should targeted stimuli come in contact with the individual. (Jones, 2007).
Historically, the perspective of juvenile sexual offenders was considered “new” in the 1980s. Much of the treatment, including that of Longo, was based on the same techniques used in the treatment model of adult sexual offenders. Adult offenders, however, do not account for development within an adolescent as well as the impact of family and environment affect the behavior of the adolescent. It appears that juveniles who commit offenses of a sexual nature tend to differ from adult sexual offenders. (Aggrawal, 2009) It is estimated that juveniles account for almost 25% of documented sexual offenses in the United States. Statistics show that rape, which can be construed as the most serious of sexual offenses in juveniles has declined in the last decade, court cases involving other sexual offenses in adolescents have risen. (Children’s Service, 2002) During the period of the late 1980’s and early 1990’s, following Longo’s experimental research, it appeared that sex offenses in general weren’t taken seriously by the justice system, and cases involving juvenile offenders were especially noted as not being thoroughly addressed. At the same time, however, it appears the public was taking an active interest and the victims’ rights movement in society began. (Jones, 2007) Attention to sexual abuse was being demanded and at this time the development of centers and hot-lines for rape crisis were being developed and the government began allotting states money within the budget for victim services.
In the early 1990’s the topic of crimes committed of a sexual nature became one of the leading sensations of the media. News stories began targeting the stories of young girls who were raped and sometimes murdered, even though the majority of offenses against juveniles (80%-90%) are committed by someone the victim knows. (Ryan, Lane, Davis, Isaac, 2010) Author, Philip Jenkins (1998), states that with the increased awareness of sexual crimes, society’s next step was to focus on the offenders, including adolescent offenders, which was one of the biggest fears in society due to the media implementing a state of constant paranoia. Per Jenkins, “first it’s adult predators, and then it’s ‘what about children?’ To draw attention, you have to up the ante. The issue moves up a notch and you can’t move it back so easily.”
With the increased awareness that resulted from the media’s huge grasp on sexually related crimes as well as the government’s interest sparking in the field, the recognition and regulation of sexual crimes and offenders appeared to flourish in the early 1990’s. One of the best known examples is Megan’s Law, which was implemented in 1996. (Rathus, Nevid, Fichner-Rathus, 2011) Since 1994 federal law has required many offenders of sexual crimes to register with the police in order to provide possible aid in investigations regarding sex-crimes. Megan’s Law, taking this a step further, mandates that local law enforcement agencies provide public notification to the community about convicted offenders within the community. In the current times of increased technological awareness; this law, which also goes by Community-Notification Law, often uses websites to provide access to this information. There is no distinction between juvenile and adult offenders on these websites, however, meaning on many state websites for sexual offenders, one can find the names, addresses, date of birth, as well as oftentimes photographs of juveniles who have committed any sexual offense. (Jones, 2007) According to Jones (2007), the increase in federal awareness has heightened the targeting of juvenile sexual offenders through the Adam Walsh Child Protection and Safety Act. This act authorized the creation of a federal internet based registry that allows law enforcement officials to tract sex offenders, ages 14 and older, who have engaged in genital, anal or oral-genital contact with children younger than 12.
Throughout the past three decades, awareness of sexual crimes, including those committed by adolescents, has drastically risen. With the implementation of Megan’s Law and the Adam Walsh Child Protection and Safety Act the community is eased from some of their paranoia through the access of knowledge via notification by law enforcement. It appears, however, that the classification of adolescent has been somewhat contradicted when sexual crimes are the focus of study. For the most part, the records of youths’ are protected from being publicly discussed and remain confidential. This appears to be contributed to a theory that children are less responsible for their actions in part to cognitive development, meaning that they are less worthy of blame and possibly more amenable to rehabilitation. With the two aforementioned acts, however, this issue of confidentiality is ignored since the photographs, addresses and ages of sexual offenders are published for anyone to view, alongside those of adult offenders. Based on the limited information found regarding research and studies of juvenile sexual offenders that has occurred, as well as the broad federal laws affecting sexual offenders as a group, versus distinguished into age categories, it appears that juvenile sexual offenders are not classified the same as adolescents within the juvenile justice system who commit other, non-sexual, acts. It appears the justice system considers adolescent sexual offenders to be more fixed in traits, incurable and more dangerous. One could construe from this that the justice system classifies juveniles who have committed sex crimes to be more similar to adults that have committed sexual crimes than they are to juveniles who have committed other, non-sexual crimes.

Research Paper DRAFT for Criminal Psych: Part I (Intro)

Part I: Introduction (4 of 15 Pages)

The problem that will be discussed is the issue of juvenile/adolescent sexual offenders in present day society. This topic was selected as the problem of research due to the increased number of juvenile sexual offenders appearing in the media, including the circumstances and variables of causes for occurrences, such as decreased parental supervision, medical and/or mental disorders, societal influences on adolescents regarding nature and norms of sexual behavior, and other possible factors that contribute to increased sexual behaviors in individuals that could cause or result in these individuals displaying a maladaptive sexual behavior while classified as a juvenile. For reference purposes, the term “Juvenile and/or Adolescent (Sexual) Offender” within this project will be defined as “a youth, from puberty to the legal age of majority, who commits any sexual act with a person of any age, against the victims will, without consent, or in an aggressive, exploitative or threatening manner.” (Ryan, Lane, Davis, & Isaac, 2010)
Current policies and laws implemented within the legal system regarding treatment, consequences, risks of re-offending, methods of prevention and other practices will be addressed in order to critique effectiveness and depth of developmental factors addressed in the legal system which target the prevention and management of inappropriate sexual behaviors within the adolescent population in order to lower the future instances and occurrences of these behaviors and effectively treat individuals who have committed these offenses with the goal of reducing the current statistics in the future. Variable factors will be considered, including the percentages of sexual offenders who are male versus those who are female, as well as ratio of male to females as victims in sexual crimes involving adolescents. Another factor of consideration includes cases of offenders who are classified as incapacitated within the court system, such as juveniles being dually diagnosed with both mental illness and mental retardation. Statistics of individuals committing sexual offenses from various ranges of age within the classification of juvenile and adolescent will be considered, as well as recidivism statistics within various age ranges and other factors deemed relevant which could support research and conclusions determined in regards to specific causes and diagnoses influencing adolescent sexual offenders within various age, developmental, gender-based, ethnic and cultural groups in which these crimes occur.
Research in this area is significant due to the increased number of sexual crimes committed by adolescent individuals in the present time versus statistics reported in decades past. Increased sexual crimes committed by juveniles today is significant due to the impact these crimes have on the future of society, since the juveniles of today are the adults of the future, which include the future workforce, political influences, developers of policies or laws, media reporters, and even celebrities who’s sexual values and practices will have influence on the youth of the following generation. The impact of increased sexual offenders classified as juvenile is also deemed relevant and in need of addressing due to the fact that those who are victims of sexual crimes impact the future of society as well, and as research shows, victims of sexual offenses often are affected mentally to the point of developing mental or emotional disorders and even, in some cases, developing inappropriate sexual behaviors themselves, which may result in a victim of a sexual abuse crime victimizing someone else in a sexual nature, which results in the chain of sexual offenses growing to include even more offenders.
Addressing the problem of sexual offenses committed and the resulting treatment, care and methods of prevention of further damage or offenses is also greatly relevant due to the fact that discussion of experiences, results, and findings already completed can provide insight to efficiently diagnose and treat both offenders and victims in a faster or more productive way due to past data of similar occurrences being used to determine methods which may or may not have been affective in past instances, which results in researchers saving time, money and resources by referencing these instances, as well as possible effectiveness in treatment and care of offenders and victims by comparing signs, symptoms and crimes to past examples of a similar nature which may have resulted in either positive and successful results in managing issues or poor and devastating results, which increase likelihood of similar results, which addresses issues regarding humane and ethical treatment, as obviously, a method of which the end results were found to be negative or devastating would not want to be tried numerous times, while instances which resulted in positive or successful rates of treatment and management would likely want to be repeated in similar cases, which would hopefully result in findings that resemble the original results, allowing time, money and resources be spent on the discovery of successful treatment for cases of behaviors or acts which may not have as much documented research or findings within that specified field or area, allowing improvement and increased data collection within the field of juvenile sexual crimes. This, in turn, would provide improvement, as a whole, which would assist in development of future research and positive treatment or care to those who become involved with the system as offenders or victims in future generations.
Goals of compilation and publishing of research, findings and recommendations regarding juvenile and adolescent sexual offenders in society involve many objectives. These include increasing awareness of the problem to general society, relaying results of findings of research to a broad audience in hopes of sharing instances and results to those involved with increasing efficiency and productive results within the field and providing a compilation of methods, examples and instances for reference in the future to provide assistance and relevant input within the chosen career field of Psychological Human Services, specifically the field of juveniles with mental or developmental disabilities and/or disorders of a forensic nature and involvement within the court system, in order to actively contribute and provide successful methods of treatment, training and prevention in the field and specific area involving employment. Further goals include the compilation of information to be presented and referenced should the career opportunity of teaching Psychology within an institution of higher education become available and accessed, in order to have organized referenced documentation involving the subject of sexual offenders of a juvenile classification be accessible for sharing and distribution, which will assist in efficiently sharing results of researched information and procedures of treatment and care which can be evaluated and studied for means of improvement of the said procedures or suggest areas in which further research and/or improvement is needed, which will positively effect the field, as a whole by sharing this information with students who may go to work within the field of criminal psychology involving juvenile criminal sexual behaviors in various areas, which will further distribute the information with the hope of gaining consistency and targeting areas of need, which will also improve study of the field as a whole.

E-mail Reply...

The following text is a reply to an email between my main beeotch D'Amber & myself. After typing it, I wanted to repost it here, just to share these thoughts.
-cs

"I’ve read the “Child Called It” but couldn’t do the others. I can’t allow myself to be subjected to that b/c it leaves me depressed & sick for weeks after I see/hear/read it.

*** & I have more in common than most people will ever know. While abuse & neglect can be purposeful, it can also be done without knowing. That, though, is a story for another time.

*****’s family wants him locked up here forever because he’s an embarrassment to them & their family. They don’t care enough about him to work with him & give him the help & structure he needs/deserves. It’s like they view him as a “lost cause,” which is fine for me because it’s their loss and my gain.

I may not be able to give him the “ideal” family, but I can guarantee he’ll have a family that loves & cares about him. I was brought up that family can be anyone, any size or whatever works. While my (mom’s) family (who I’m closest to) is conventional at most, they were all taught that family & love are synonymic and everyone deserves both. There are so many “loose ends” in my family tree due to cousins, aunts & uncles being adopted, or even others being “unofficially” adopted.

People always say that blood is thicker than water. I don’t believe that. Families are people that you’re “stuck” with regardless, and have to deal with. Friends are people that you don’t have to ever be tied to, but they’re important enough that you refuse to let them go. It’s simple how someone unrelated can quickly become closer and deeper than anyone who shares blood with you.

I’m just thankful that I have so many people in my life that I can share those bonds with. Bonds from the heart outweigh blood-ties any day."

<3<3<3

Life-Strength-Actions

Song lyrics say the words that my heart is screaming, but my mouth is afraid to even whisper.



Right now, I don't know where I'm at or what I'm doing half the time.

Life is so fast, yet so empty. My music keeps me (mostly) sane.

At 24 which direction life may choose to point.



I know what I want, what will make me happy.
But I don't know HOW to get it.



I want you, crave you, desire you.

I think you might think you want me too. I haven't figured out yet.

Call me pathetic, it's probably true, but I live life to please myself & not you.



They say it's a burden, to me it's a pleasure. They say They say They say, who are "they?"



Is it normal to want a permanent, adult life? Living in constant waiting and transitioning is not the life for me.

I want to move, fly, & be content. I want my own, not borrowed, stolen, given or such.



I want love, life, permanence, satisfaction. It doesn't have to be perfect. It (&you) just has to be mine, forever.

Who cares if their's is bigger, better, more expensive. I can make it worth it. I can be worth it, I promise that.

It shouldn't be this hard. It's only another barrier to overcome.



Will it come through? This is real life, not a fairytale. There isn't always a happy ending. Sometimes it ends in gruesome manners, bloody, gory, horrific...



As a human living in the real world, the only thing we can do it to keep hope. Hope for the best, & work our ass off in order to get the desired results.

Tears are inevitable, hearts will become broken and scarred. But to survive the fight must be there...



Fight. Strength. Love. Fear. Work.

Frustration (Another FB Note)

So, I recently read a psychological-based article that recommended writing out/blogging a list of current frustrations to get them out of your head. By blogging or posting to a public forum, a person is allowed to share their feelings without having to bore someone with "woe is me" stories, or to bring someone off their high-horse with your personal issues. By writing, its there for folks to read, but no-one is obligated to listen to you drone on. Thought I'd try it since I'm feeling quite frustrated & want to get back to a peaceful state of mind. Here goes...



I'm frustrated its hot, & I'm tired of sweating.

I'm frustrated bc all this sweating is making my face break out.

I'm frustrated bc I'm 24 years old & my face breaks out like a teenager.

I'm frustrated bc I've lost 35lbs, run 12 miles weekly, control caloric intake, & am still chubby.

I'm frustrated bc I was born with traits (pale skin, red hair, freckles) that the majority of the population considers ugly.

I'm frustrated bc I'm ready for changes, but have to depend on others to do their part too.

I'm frustrated because ppl try to shove organized religion in my face.

I'm frustrated because these same people are trying to shove a symbolical knife in my back.

I'm frustrated because ppl can't mind their own business & get in my business by gossiping versus coming to the source (me) & getting correct information.
I'm frustrated bc I'm a 24 yr old, single male that doesn't whore around & chooses to focus on more important things, therefore something is "wrong" w/ me bc I don't fit the stereotype of my peer group.

I'm frustrated bc if I was a 40 year old, attractive, married man with children I wouldn't have half the problems that are currently frustrating me.

I'm frustrated because humanity has gone down the proverbial hole.

I'm frustrated bc my parents dictated my life, made choices & determined outcomes that have affected the rest of my life, but bailed once I hit adulthood & garnered more important priorities, but then get upset & tell me I'm too independent.
In fact, I'm frustrated that at times I feel like the parent instead of the child.

I'm frustrated that people complain about how miserable their life is but don't do anything to change it, yet I'm chomping at the bit to make changes that I'm unable to do, due to the initiation depending on someone else.

I'm frustrated that people assume "older means wiser." Older doesn't mean JACK, except being more opinionated, full of hot air & thinking younger ppl are stupid.

I'm frustrated that kids are taught never to settle for anything less than the best. The advice-giver has obviously never been an unnattractive young adult who only attracts potential mates he has no attraction to, but is too nice & empathetic to hurt someone elses feelings since he's experienced rejection before.

I'm frustrated that some skinny bitches can eat whatever they want while some of us (who are already not cute) can look at food & gain 30lbs.

I'm pissed bc even if I do get an "attractive" body, I can't go shirtless bc I was cursed with 4 stretch marks on my sides from a growth spurt at 12 years old.

I'm frustrated because the general population is shallow enough to think that stretch marks, freckles & body fuzz is gross. (Yet they wonder why I don't date.)

I'm frustrated bc some of the greatest people ever born are now dead, yet someone like me (average, weird, unnattractive) can live to be a hundred.

I'm pissed bc some people never realize the treasure they have (in a child, student, client) & remain oblivious to that fact while the other person suffers & has the hard life.

I'm frustrated bc just because someone decides to help, care for, or be unselfish for someone less fortunate, people assume there's obviously something "wrong," an alterior motive, or underlying benefit. It appears people aren't allowed to be nice or practice moral behaviors.

It frustrates me that I let myself get frustrated so easily.

I'm frustrated because I lack efficiency in spelling, numerical equations & other common skills that make me look ignorant.

I'm frustrated because I have too much empathy & sympathy, which causes my heart to break quite often.

I'm frustrated that some people have good opportunities (that I'd love) yet waste them.

I'm pissed that I have to work full time while going to school 3/4 time since my parents wouldn't let me go off to school following high school bc they were selfish & wanted to keep me close, yet within a month after graduation I was told I needed to get a job & had to figure out the whole fafsa, college, degree plan thing on my own.

I'm frustrated because my independent nature actually caused quite a bit of hardship due to other priorities coming first.

I'm frustrated because that frustrates me since I know there are millions that would kill for the life I had growing up (& were probably much more deserving), yet I dwell on the things I didn't like.

I'm frustrated because I have to have a feeling of relevance, which I haven't been getting lately.

I'm frustrated because I'd love to jump on a plane, fly to an underdeveloped country & get my hands dirty helping poverished populations, but I'm unable to do that due to things that tie me here.

I'm frustrated that I'm in my mid twenties & don't know what to do with my life.

I'm frustrated bc my jaw hurts due to having "weak" teeth which was given to me by genetics.

I'm frustrated that I frequently make impulse decisions that I almost always regret.

I'm frustrated that so many souls depend on me, yet there's no-one that I can depend on, & everytime I have depended on someone I've been let down, therefore Ill be damned if I let those who depend on me down, bc I accepted the obligation & I am responsible.

I'm frustrated because I just figured that out on my own, and couldve saved millions of dollars on therapy & meds trying to figure out why I'm screwed in the head.
Speaking of that, I'm frustrated that I look, talk, act, think, & feel the opposite of the characteristics I would choose for myself were I given the chance...

And finally (for now), I'm frustrated because I've typed this entire list of things & upon reviewing it, see that I sound like a spoiled brat who should be thankful for everything that has gone well instead of what hasn't. Things can always be worse, & I'm complaining about negative things while there's so many awesome things out there for me. It appears that the majority of these frustrations are my fault, one way or another, & its up to me to make sure the rest of my life is the best.

After completing this exercise I do feel better getting it out of my head & into text. I definitely recommend it to anyone who's feeling overwhelmed or stressed. Just put it out there instead of keeping it cooped up inside.
Its documented that stress, frustration & lows are natural human nature. If we didn't have the bad, how would we know to appreciate the good? I feel the important key is to recognize these feelings, not ignore them, & base what you need to do to reach the level you want to be at. I apologize for sharing negativity & putting it out there, but at least I'm sending it out into the world, away from me.

My advice for now is to always strive for what's important to you. Whether its a house, job, degree or care for a loved one. Its obvious that people are going to talk bad about you. Its probably going to piss you off or hurt your feelings, but don't waste your life worrying about them, because they're just wasting their life concentrating on you. Easier said than done, but effort is better than giving in.

Goodnight my sweet chupacabras. Have a wonderful night.

"Me & You"-(copied from a fb note I wrote)

To various people:

It seems that distancing myself from you helps temporarily, but there are still times I long for the past. The past when it was mandatory to see one another daily. There wasn't a day that went by that we didn't speak on the cellular. Then one day you decided that it wasn't worth it, that I wasn't worth it. You say one thing but your actions contradicted it. I still followed, like a sheep to slaughter, knowing doom was imminent, but not changing the path that I'd let myself wander too far down. I was naíve and was learning, but didn't have the knowledge or confidence to know I deserved more.

Now I have found more, I've found you. You aren't perfect either, but you make me feel relevant. You make me feel "worth it," which is a polar opposite. Its not perfect, but it's ours and we have a lifetime to make it perfect. When I look at you I know we've loved one another in a previous life. The connection is still there. I promise I got your back & can never, ever repay you for everything you've given me. You've shown me that life is meant to be perfect & regardless of one's past, its never too late to get what you deserve. Knowing this may have saved my life, your life, his life or her life. Things like that can't even have a value assigned to them.You have my service, love, attention & devotion for ever. I promise that.

And finally to you. I don't even know you, what you look like, sound like, feel like, or anything. I have never met you, but I know you exist, somewhere in the world. There are too many people in the world for you not to exist. I don't know your age, race, residence or any of that unimportant junk, but I'm confident youre somewhere out there & I'm just waiting on faith to recognize the perfect opportunity to bring us together.

My heart may not be perfect. It may be mended, scarred, full of love, hate & cigarette smoke, but its a powerful organ. The human heart was made to beat, to spread life and to love. Hearts have the ability to grow. My heart will never be too full to add love. To my past, present and future loves, you've all got a place in my heart. A place that is always yours and I promise you will never be replaced or forgotten, for there's always room for more in my heart... <3

Careers: To Choose, or Not to Choose.

So my mom was complaining about having to go back to work tomorrow (after being off the past month) & I was like "WTF?" She said that, as a school counselor, she only gets one month off, as opposed to the teachers who get like 6 or 8 weeks off. I told her that she should be glad she gets a month. At the State we only get like 12 weird holidays every year & have to work all 12 months without any kind of Winter Break, Spring Break or Summer Break.

Honestly, if I didn't detest those vile little creatures called children (glad I never was one), then I'd totally consider working for the school system...

Well maybe not... I don't think I'd fare well in an ISD.
(The next part is ONLY what I, personally, have observed throughout my time as a student as MISD & a citizen in the Mexia ISD.)

Have you any idea what they pay a first year teacher? Or a 2nd, third or 4th year teacher for that matter? At that pathetic base pay, not even the school holiday-breaks would be worth it because I'd be having to work a 2nd job during Christmas, spring & summer breaks just to survive financially...

Plus, from what I've observed from watching MISD, the politics are worse than working for the State. Not only do you have the Superintendent & a Principal or 3 (which I've heard at MISD have a major favoritism problem),but you also have an elected Board, who chooses whether or not to renew your annual contract, based on what they feel & hear instead of actually observing you teaching in the classroom. It all appears to be way too high on the "buddy" system, which is not good for me since I prefer to work my tail off to prove that I can do my job, & not kiss the behinds of people who may or may not renew my contract because I'm not a member of the right crowd.

On top of that, there is few little room for advancement in the school system. You start as a teacher (making pennies every month) and the only way you're going to advance is if you go back to school (and debt) to finish a Masters degree in a certain field, then hope you're part of the right crowd to get a position in your ISD as either a counselor, principal or reading/math/English specialist. If you're in a horribly political district (like MISD) & not in the right group, you will probably have to end up finding a job in another district which means uprooting your family, leaving your friends and so forth, just to advance your career to try to make something of yourself & help your family. If you choose the Administration route, after serving several thankless years as a principle, you're then eligible to apply for a position as a district Superintendent. From what I've observed in Mexia, Superintendents generally come from another district (where they've been run off from their board) and only serve one or two contract periods before their Board decides they aren't worthy & runs them off again. Way too much temporary-ness for someone who likes roots, such as myself.

While the pay of the ISD becomes tolerable (after like 10 years in the system), what's the point since you're going to either have to stay a teacher, hoping that you can stay on the right side of whatever admin comes in the next year, or as an administrator who's on the move every few years because you can't please everyone & have to make decisions that obviously not everyone will like. No thanks! Not the place for me...

While I may tease my mom about her "one month vacation," I'm really happy for her that she is fortunate enough to be in a small, happy district (from what I have seen, due to a low-turnover rate, and everyone seems to love their jobs). She's in a position she enjoys, in a nice school w/ good teachers & Admin. It's not as "clique-ish" since it is a small town & there's not really enough people in it to have more than one group lol. It's also ideal for her because she's doing what she wants to do & she doesn't like to play the political "game" which exists in so many larger places. I've noticed the teachers, aides, administrators in her district are so much more laid back, that if I had to work in an ISD, I'd definitely choose one similar to that.

However, it still isn't what I'd want. While my momma's content in her career, I'm still young (& ambitious) enough that I'd want to climb higher. While I personally am not a fan of political games, I understand that they exist everywhere and don't mind playing enough to get where I want to be.

I guess what I've realized is, that everyone is different. For some, the ISD is a perfect place for a career, while others it's horrible. I'm sure that for some the State wouldn't be ideal, and somewhere even more cut-throat with a corporate ladder is what they crave.

So in conclusion, I imagine that I've found something else to "mark off" my list of what I want to be when I grow up. I love my facility and couldn't see myself leaving to teach little beasts all day in exchange for lots of time off during the year.

I wont say that in the future, as I take more into my personal life & get older & tired of fighting I may look at something in the field of education for the aforementioned reasons, but right now, I absolutely love what I'm doing, love how it effects my personal life and I look forward to the future advancement, knowledge and whatever else it may bring me. I also encourage everyone to pursue what will give them the most out of their life. For some it seems money is the major incentive, while others want power, and some want ease. People should pursue their personal interests in careers, which is why we have so many different fields of careers in our world today.

TGIF

Tis Friday and I'm so ready to be off for the weekend. That's all...

Blah Blah Blah

Uggh. Feeling Blah-ish.
Rejection is not cool.
"It's not you, it's me."
They say, patience is a virtue. I think it's more like a torture.
Almost time to go home!
I miss you.
Just a blow to my ego is all.
I almost had you convinced
but almost doesn't count.
I imagine I'll be fine.
Gotta go home to bake anyways.
My corazon is still yours.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Fatass?

So since January I've lost a total of 30 lbs. I got down to 167 and have seemed to get stuck, and have been fluctuating between 167 & 173lbs. Based on perception of my body (and I have been studying it) I still have some excess body fat that I'd like to see gone in my lower back, sides and neck area. I haven't really been addressing it since 1) I'm terminally single & don't have to worry about anyone seeing me w/o clothes and 2) I don't have time to go to the beach/lake or get in any situation where I might be required to go shirtless. This morning, however, my friend at work (who happens to be a registered dietitian) was complaining about her weight (she has a perfect figure though), which got the rest of the ladies in my office talking about theirs (I'm the token male), which of course got me to focus on my excess.

I have some suspicions of the reason I'm not losing more, and I think it's mostly FOOD! I sometimes don't make the best nutritional choices. My caloric intake is too high some days, and I also think the accessibility of soft drinks keeps my weight up. When I go to work at 5:15 in the morning, Dr. Pepper seems to be the only choice since many places don't make tea that early, and I don't know if my stomach could handle tea at 5:15 in the morning lol. Since I'm budgeting, attempting to purchase a new house, I also tend to go for cheap & easy, which usually doesn't equate to nutritional. People can preach at me all day, but as a redhead and Scorpio, my natural instinct is to do the opposite of what's being demanded of me. I enjoy my morning Dr. Pepper, and as I tell others, if you remove everything you enjoy from life, it's not worth living. Since I decide to indulge in this practice, I need to find somewhere else to make up for it. Obviously though I'm not going overboard with it since I'm not constantly gaining weight, just remaining the same.

I've also started this new position, which does not require all the running around I did in my old job. Since I left the home manager position in the middle of June, more of my time is spent at the desk instead of the constant moving around campus that I did as a Home Manager. I've also stopped running at 4:00am now because I recently saw a copperhead on my road, and I just can't force myself to run in the dark that early for fear of stepping on a copperhead. I've been bitten by one before and there's no way I'd ever want to do it again. I definitely need to start jogging again, if just for toning/health reasons, so hopefully as things slow down with house shopping, adjusted routine and school I can squeeze it into daylight hours at least until it gets too cold for copperheads. I should be doing inside exercise routines besides dancing around w/ the iPod blaring) that will burn and tone, and that's something I'm looking at implementing once I get moved to the new house and have a larger space to partake in these activities. I understand in weight loss I have to burn more than I'm consuming. Since I'm staying about the same, I think bumping the calorie burning up a notch may assist in getting down to my desired goal.

Honestly I don't know what my recommended weight is, but I know that I'd like to be lighter than I currently am. My favorite person in the world, my adopted kid, is the same height as me 5'6" and weights 145lbs. He doesn't look too thin, but he has a bit of a smaller frame than I do. His ideal weight range is 134-162lbs so I imagine mine is close to that. At first my goal was 160lbs, which would be the lightest I've been since Jr. High, but after studying more, I'd like to actually get down to 150lbs, see how I look there, then gain a bit back in muscle from toning exercise. I definitely don't want to be a body-builder and don't care about a 6 pack or huge biceps. I just want to not be embarrassed of the excess "muffin top" that is around my waist. I also have stretch marks which, from what I understand, are impossible to get rid of which adds something else to the list of reasons to stay clothed.

People may complain that we (big people) don't lose weight the "healthy" way, but until they've been in our shoes, they need to quit offering unwanted advice. Since my first thirty pounds were lost from simply not eating, I receive so much commentary on how unhealthy it is and I should've picked another way to thin down. I just think they can kiss off, because they don't know how I feel, or how it affects me to be called fatass or something like that. I'm the one that has to live with the excess weight and jokes/insults, so I do what I can to make me happy. Obviously I'm not completely starving myself, but I did cut way back on intake. I've had several people that tell me 150lbs would be WAY too skinny for me, but I can't remember the last time I was 150lbs and if I think it's too skinny, then I'll gain some back. The people that tell me obviously don't know what I'm dealing with under the clothes.

Everyone is made differently, and I think people should focus on what works for them. Since we are the one's that have to live with our self, I think everyone should do what makes them happy.

As I further my weight loss journey I will keep everyone posted. Hopefully soon I will find out, not only what makes those around me happy, but what makes myself happy.

xoxoxo

Another day in paradise

Can this month get any longer?

Seriously I am beginning to feel that July is taking forever to pass. Besides not being a fan of Summer, I also am in a semester of classes I'm not enjoying. Attempting to budget my new salary with a new house payment that I'm hopefully going to have, as well as taking care of some legal issues that I decided to take on for moral and personal reasons. As we are still a little under a week away from the next month, I feel as if I'm stuck in summer-limbo! I've always been a fan of Autumn and Winter, and I look at the cold weather as an opportunity to dress cuter, eat more and get advantageous cuddling time (if I ever get anyone to cuddle with). In July though, I'm dealing with excess sweating, which makes my face break out and a grumpier attitude since I am already hot natured and too much heat makes me cranky. lol.

Life is, of course, grand though. I am enjoying my job, though I still havent quite acclimated to the slower pace. I miss my old job, but doubt I would go back to it if I had the chance. I just look at it as a past chapter that gave good experience and influenced my life in the [positive] way it's going. It seems things are finally working out for me. I've gotten the larger salary, and think I've actually found a house that I'll be able to afford. It is a "fixer upper" but not a totally hopeless one. It has the potential to double in value if I do what I plan on doing, which won't cost double to do. It's also outside the city limits, in a quiet area close to Mexia and about 5 minutes away from my job, which will definitely save gas $ and mileage on the car. It's also a 3 bed/ 2 bath which is what I was looking for. Even though it's just me now, it might not always be, and I have the extra room in case I do ever have someone else living there. As I mentioned, it's only in the process, but I'm just going to keep a positive outlook, because right now it's the only outlook I have :o)

Besides that, it's all the same ol routine. I keep it positive and plan on it working out perfectly.

What a world, what a world

5:40am
Uggh. I woke up at 3am this morning after going to bed at like 5pm yesterday due to being exausted plus getting too much sun while helping at my mom's garage sale all day.

Since I have no life it seems, I was wide awake so I decided to come to my parents' to drink coffee and wash my clothes (my washing machine is still broken).

All of a sudden I'm in a pissy mood and don't know why. Maybe its the fact that I'm tired, yet slept too much? Maybe it's just hot in here for some reason? Maybe I don't feel like listening to the noise of my mom loading and unloading the dishwasher at 5:30am, which will probably wake my dad up, who will be grouchy about being woken up, then my mom will complain about his grumpy mood, but she's the one washing dishes at this ungodly hour...

I definitely need to get my washing machine fixed, as well as get a new home in the Mexia area. I'm sick of the 35 mile, one way commute I have to make daily, and tired of not being able to do anything at home due to the fact that I know its temporary, and there's no need in redecorating the house, working outside in the yard or even getting satellite tv & internet hooked up, because I know that eventually I'll be moving and will end up selling the current home, leaving the garden/flower beds and then be stuck with a satellite/internet contract when I know I'll be able to get cable at a better price once I move closer to Mexia. I need to get that property cleaned off so I can move a house in or have one built, and I need to develop my budget so I can see what I can afford to pay monthly on the home/utilities/expenses.

BRB, going walking with my mom for exercise and stuff...

7:11am: Okay where was I? Oh yeah, complaining...

Anyway, I was just stating that I'm ready to get things done in more of a permanent set-up. I love my life and the way things are going, I'm just ready for everything to "pick up the pace." All the groundwork is laid, now it's just the process of needs getting accomplished, which has already been initiated. Patience has always been my weakest virtue so I'm jumping at the bit to get this done & move on to the next step in life...

Well it's good to hear your voice

I hope your doing fine

And if you ever wonder

I'm lonely here tonight

Lost here in this moment

And time keeps slipping by

And if I could have just one wish

I'd have you by my side



Oh, oh I miss you Oh, oh I need you



And I love you more

Than I did before

And if today I don't see your face

Nothing's changed no one can take your place

It gets harder everyday

Say you love me more

Than you did before

And I'm sorry it's this way

But I'm coming home

I'll be coming home

And if you ask me I will stay

I will stay



Well I try to live without you

The tears fall from my eyes

I'm alone and I feel empty

God I'm torn apart inside

I look up at the stars

Hoping your doing the same

Somehow I feel closer

And I can hear you say



Oh I miss you, Oh I need you



And I love you more

Than I did before

And if today I don't see your face

Nothing's changed no one can take your place

It gets harder everyday

Say you love me more

Than you did before

And I'm sorry it's this way

But I'm coming homeI'll be coming home

And if you ask me I will stay



I will stay



I never wanna lose you

And if I had to I would chose you

So stay, please always stay

You're the one I hold onto

My heart would stop without...you...