Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Work out

For my last birthday, friend (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since being a high school atheltic star, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. After all I didnt want to hurt his feelings. I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My friend seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

MONDAY:Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!! Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring! Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!

TUESDAY:I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air - then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT!! It's a whole new life for me.

WEDNESDAY:The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my whines bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning; and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair 'monster'. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by escalators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other shit too.

THURSDAY:Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late, because it took me that long to tie my shoes. Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. She sent another skinny bitch to find me. Then, as punishment, she put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank!

FRIDAY:I hate that bitch Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it. Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the damn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

SATURDAY:Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

SUNDAY:I had the Church van pick me up for services today so I could go and thank GOD that the week is over. I will also pray that next year my friend (the little shit) will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!

Little Bunny Foo Foo (True Version)

Ok. The true story:
Lil bunny foo foo was hoppin through the forest.As he was hoppin, he was scooping up field mice and boppin them on the head.
(First I wanna know what field mice are doing in the forest. Shouldnt they be in a field somewhere? I think the story means forest mice, but I guess field sounds better.)
All of a sudden this witch flies down from the sky...
Now I guess she is weird, b/c this heifer can somehow talk to rabbits, which have like an IQ of .5.
Well anyways, the witch, or faery, whatever she is, anyways this bitch tell's little bunny foo foo:
"Look Bitch!" I am sick and tired of you picking up these mice, and bopping them on the head. I'm a nice old witch, so I guess Ill give you a few more chances, but remember: those little bastards are on the endangered species list, and if I catch you and your little foo foo ass bopping them again, I am going to skin you alive, wear your coat as a scarf and then me and the little field mice that are left, we are gonna eat your carcass for supper. Got it?
Let's just say, foo foo didn't bop anymore field/forest mice...

Religion Rant October of 08

Short and simple rant. Don't take anything personal.
I do not know why overly religious people attempt to shove their beliefs down my throat. I understand that there is a such thing as witnessing, but there is an invisible line there that can be crossed from witnessing to harassment.
Nobody but God has the authority to determing what my fate will be based on my actions.
I have a God, he created me, and he understands me. He created you, human, and really you have no buisness trying to understand me, and unless you have walked my life in my shoes, you haven't a clue ok?This is just something I want to blog about, nothing serious happened to spur my writing. Just FYI
And what about the feelings of responsibility? In the book Divine Secrets of YaYa sisterhood. There is a quote that I still remember. A nun told a strong heroine, Genevieve Whitman, that "I am responsible for saving these girls' souls." Genevieve replied by saying, "You'll be lucky if you can save your own!" My thoughts exactly, make sure you are taken care of before you put your worry and strength into me. I promise I will rebel everytime. It's a Scorpio/Redhead thing lol.
I love it! lol. Until your perfect, please don't judge me. I try my hardest to be a classy, tactful gentleman, but we know it doesn't always work out that way. Deal with it!
I am a strong believer of the scale system. I follow it every day, and my God understands that. As long as I'm doing more good than bad, I'm in good shape. I never want the bad side of the scale to outweigh the good. These are my opinions and I stick to them. I don't try to convince everyone of my beliefs, but I do not mind having sharing my opinions. Again, no-one is perfect, we all "sin" and we were all created the way we are by God. Everyone has a "cross" to bear, and you should worroy about your own, unless of course someone asks for help.
I promise it will work out correctly. I have total faith in MY God! When I say MY God, I mean the God I believe in, not the God that "so called" christians are bragging about how mean and unlovable he is if you do wrong. I cannot see how God created one of his children, and set them up to fail horribly or else have a miserable life. I was put here to be happy, and live my human life to the fullest and do as much good as I can while Im here. My God created me just the way I am, and he knows what I face from day to day, and he knows every thought/feeling I have.
I'm not angry or anything, just doped up on Benedryl, but it sounded like a good rant. Comment to let me know what you think. If you disagree, I would like to hear it, and if you agree I would like to hear it. I'm always open to opinions and theories, as long as they aren't forced on me.
xoxo I heart you all!

November 08 Animal Rights Activists

So. I was doing research on dogs in labor, to prepare for my upcoming litter. I stumbled on the Yahoo! Answers website and was reading some of the user questions and replies from other users.
These animal rights activists or ARAs are CRAZY! Very seldom did these people answer a question. Usually their replies consisted of condemning the asker to hell because he/she did something that they saw unfitting, or asked a question that they wanted to gain information on, and were criticized for something. Another thing all these idiots did were to tell everyone to go out to a pound to adopt a loving dog instead of buying one from someone because people that bred dogs were as bad a satan himself, contributing to the homeless animal numbers in America. Sheesh! The people said NEVER buy a dog from a petstore or "puppy mill" because these dogs are treated badly and they arent a good choice for owners...
I had to do it. I had to piss them off! I asked a simple question about why dogs from the pounds are better than buying a puppy from a pet store... I asked that even though the people involved in the pet business may not be the best, do the puppies have to suffer? If they aren't bought, they are usually dumped out on the side of a road to starve to death, or else taken to... you guessed it... to the pound! Therefore when you "save a life" at the pound, to get that "great" dog these ARAs are recommending, aren't you getting the same dog that they told you not to get because of breeding problems and unfit pets? Duh dumbasses!
So I asked that question on there, and I got a few replies. Most of them were stupid excuses about how they don't want the breeder benefitting from the purchase... I then asked, "So you are an ARA, but you could care less about the life of the animal, you just want the people to suffer. I thought the priority of an ARA was to support ANIMALS and assure that they were safe? Sounds kind of odd to me."
So then I actually asked my question about expectant chiapoos and asked for advice. I never got any advice, people just told me I was the devil for supporting and breeding mixed breeds. If I was going to breed, I should do it right. I should have never bought dogs when there were dogs at the pound, blah blah blah the fuck blah! So now I'm thinking... "My kids are animals, but these people don't support them, because of what they are. Don't they need love too? It appears that these rights activists only support it when it benefits them? Such fucking hyppocrits! I hate when people talk bad about my kids and don't even know them... Its a parent thing, and then to call me an unfit parent? I was in fumes, so I sent some provate messages that were too explicit to post on here.
I also wonder why they are so angry and violent? Like the instance of Lindsay Lohan and the Olsen Twins... WTF? Violence does not solve anything, and I dare them to throw flour or dump blood on me if I wear animal fur. I may go to jail, but they will visit the hospital! But seriously, wouldn't that be considered a hate crime or something? People get arrested for it, but never do you see an ARA get arrested. Also, why do they choose violence? Wouldn't it be better to provide education versus violence? Campaign instead of protest. I mean there are worse people out there hurting animals besides Lindsay Lohan and the Olsen Twins. I mean these people dressed up and called them the "Trollsens." How hateful is that? I just hate how they play dirty, and I hope karma kicks their asses.
Oh and I saw the cutest Polo jacket today in the B/CS mall. It was a "puffy" jacket with animal fur (faux) around the lining of the hood, and it was 50% off, so only 49 bucks! I should have grabbed one, but I have to shop for others before I shop for myself, since I am still on state income. Besides I want that $600 coat at the Men's Warehouse, I think it was Calvin... anyways, it was hot, and it matched everything else in the store, so I think I'm just going to doo all my shopping there from now on lol. Anyways, to the point: I think I'm going to buy some garment with fur, and go to the PETA headquarters just to express my freedom of choice or something. I swear, I let these idiots piss me off more than I should have! Anyways, if you have any comments/concerns, let me know. I always love learning, or being a master debator! lol
xoxo

Shopping Delimma- November 08

Sunday, November 23, 2008
Shopping Dilemma Current mood: bummed Category: Fashion, Style, Shopping
"No matter what I do, all I think about is you, even with I'm with my boo, you know I'm crazy over you" Haha. The word dilemma made me think of the old school Nelly/Kelly song!
The weirdest thing has happened to me. I actually somewhat enjoy clothes shopping for myself, especially nice, trendy clothing articles that make me look good. I used to hate to shop, and wore a solid polo shirt and khakis every day. Now I find myself expressing myself more through clothes, which I thought would never happen, and enjoy getting compliments on them. I still hate spending hours looking at things and so forth, but since I've discovered I look good in earth tones, blues and whites, I enjoy finding "fun" things to wear, that I actually look good in.
So. This story starts a few weeks ago, when one of the smartest, fashionable people in the world, HLM Jay-R, posted a blog about his christmas/birthday wish list. On this list, Mr. M. posted a photo of the greatest jacket in the world. It's a mens bubble jacket with a hood with faux fur on it! I fell in love immediately and though I remain thrifty, I lusted after that jacket, and pictured myself looking young and sexy in it, even though I rarely wear jackets since I'm so hot natured, but that's beside the point.
So last wednesday, as many of you know, I had to go to College Station to take my state exit exam, and after the completion of the passed exam, I was feeling good and wanted to walk around the mall to do some xmas shopping.
Well I went in one of the stores, either Bealls or Dillards, and low and behold, there was the gorgeous bubble jacket. Now here's where I show my true colors as an idiot. I was talking to Melanie on the phone, and looked at the Polo jacket, which was 50% off, only $50! I urged myself to walk by, since I needed to spend my meager state salary on gifts for others, instead of myself. I left the store, but still thought about the gorgeous jacket.
So fast forward to today. I woke up and was freezing!!! I had to go to Mexia to go Wal-Marting, and as I left WalMart, I became cold and depressed, and new the exact comfort item I needed. I spontaneously drove to Waco, and decided that I would find me a furred hooded bubble jacket and buy it for myself, because I deserved it! So I started out in Kolls. There was a fantastic sale going on, and I searched everywhere for the hidden jacket, but my expenditure of energy was useless. I scoured that store but to no avail, could not find a jacket. I didnt end up empty handed though, I found some nice jeans and a few shirts that I grabbed, but no jacket. I also saw some great trendy clothes that I wanted, but decided to be a little thrifty and passed them by. (I really want to go back and get the scholarly sweater though.) Next I tried the Belk. That attempt was fruitless also. Ross is next to Belk, so I went in and looked and FOUND a jacket. However, the jacket was white-out white and overstuffed. I rarely buy Ross clothes since there is usually some kind of defect, but I tried on the jacket. It was way too gangsta for me, and I looked like a marshmallow in it. Besides the fur was ugly. I left Ross empty handed.
After that I tried the Richland Mall. I looked everywhere but could not find one. To make matters worse, it seems like every young guy in the mall was wearing a bubble furred jacket today, and as tempted as I was to mug one of them for their jacket, I listened to my concious and continued looking. Aeropostale had one, but it was shiny black, and the store clerk told me I looked like a rubber tire in it, it was so shiny. I thanked him for his opinion, and agreed, so I put the shiny rubber jacket back on the shelf. I found lots of cute jackets, but I said only fur would suffice. I was hoping I could find a real fur jacket, just to piss off PETA and junk.
I finally gave up and drove home, with some new clothes, but broken hearted about the jacket. I guess I will have to drive to College Station one day next week to see if I can be fortunate enough to find another one in the mall. It seems to be the only way. I have considered sending Ralph out into the pasture to catch another rabbit for me to slaughter for it's meager hide and make my own jacket, but I'm not skilled at that kind of thing. I also, for just a second, considered turning into Cruella DeVille and after the grandpups grow up, making a dog fur jacket, but Sipsi and Ralph didn't like that idea... I guess I'm just gonna have to keep looking... *Sigh*

Attached- A mini story

More freewriting. This is something I used to do awhile back as a hobby. I write a story about feelings, in an artish way. Please let me know what you think. If my readers would like, I would be glad to continue this. FYI There is always something true about my thoughts in this writing. The majority may be fiction, but it is based on realness.

Attached, but not to each other

The bar is jamming. I'm alone as always, enjoying the music, atmosphere and my vodka. Through the smoke filled bar I see you sitting alone, against the wall.

My heart flutters.

You smile at me and wink. Those beautiful dark deep eyes staring in my direction, and the way you lick your juicy lips sends a flash of red through my face. All of a sudden everyone else in the bar becomes non-existant, and the connection between our eyes grows stronger.

My heart flutters.

As you get up and walk in my direction, recognition takes form. I never thought I would see you here. Our relationship is different, one of coworkers, not of bar friends. I down the last of my vodka as you take a seat beside me. You smile and my temperature rises. I cannot act a fool in front of you. I want you to want me, just as I have lusted after you in my heart for the past several months.After a 5 year break of seeing you when we were younger, I realize that both of us have changed, for the better. You put your hand softly over mine, and stroke my palms with your fingertip.

My heart flutters.

"Please stay here" I whisper as I jump up towards the bar where I order my drink plus a shot of Stoli. After downing the shot, I make my way towards my table, with you waiting. I've got to be a good guy. Since we've been reintroduced after the 5 year break, you appear to like me more, and I want it to stay that way. I never would have guessed you liked me in a more serious way, one that I secretly yearned for since our reintroduction.You look up, smile and say "Hello."

My heart flutters (Damn Heart)

I smile, and stare at you with my green/grey eyes. Eyes that a past lover claimed I could hyptnotize someone with.
"Hello" I murmer. "Nice seeing you here tonight."
You reply "I heard this is where you were on Friday nights. I wanted to see if it was true"

My heart double flutters

I can feel the burning in my face, as well as my loins. I grab your other hand and display a seductive smile. You'r hands are soft and warm, unlike the night outside the bar. You grab my hand and slowly raiseit towards your face, where you lightly kiss my hand, almost as if I was royalty.

My heart flutters.

"I'm excited to see you here" I stutter out. I could use a whole bottle of Stoli versus another shot at this time. You tell me you are also, but its loud and you want to talk. We grab our belongings and go to pay our tabs for the night, where I shoot another ounce of Stoli.

My heart is turning somersaults

We walk to the open courtyard/garden a few blocks away. Lovers fill the park benches, blankets on grass and even propped up on picnic tables.
I lead you towards a dark corner of the courtyard. My secret place where i daydream frequently, and spend alone time. Behind the large, fragrant rose bushes growing there, we embrace.

My heart is about to come out my chest

We embrace and my hands cannot help but wander. I notice your's are too! All of a sudden our lips meet. I swear I see fireworks! The kiss, slow at first, develops into an attack of passion in which no-one, yet everyone is winning at once. My knees go weak, my netherlands stronger.

My heart is beyond fluttering

Thoughts begin to race through my head. I must have you, and it must be tonight! Places cross my mind, yet my body is still in the shaded corner of the garden, it's midnight with a full moon. Kissing and rubbing and hugging, it feels as if neither of us can get enough of one another. My mind is recollecting memories about our recent reintroduction into each others' lives and I pinch myself to assure that I am in reality

My heart flutters.

Then, out of nowhere, I hear him, calling your name. I know him workwise, and I know his reputation of being possessive. I ask what's going on, and those gorgeous deep eyes are frozen in fear. I ask again, in which you say "shhh" and listen to him calling, looking for you. I realize at once what you are to him. You are already someone's mate, and I am left out.

My heart cracks.

You grab my chin fiercly, and look me in the eyes. You tell me you care about me and want me like you've never wanted another. "But him" I state. You apoligize and say that you are confused. He has not been bad to you and you would hate to hurt him. You have always been moralistic, an area that I lack greatly in, so I try to understand.He sounds worried, yet I wanna say "Fuck Him" and stay here in our hidded paradise. You look me in the eyes again and say you must go to him, but can we see each other again.

My heart struggles to beat

I hesitate. I look at those deep eyes. I can still taste those delicious lips and swell your aroma, reminiscent of cinnamon and caramel, like your complexion.I have been in a similar situation before. I know how it feels to be the "other" man. I know how everyone involves hurts, and feelings of love can evolve into feelings of hate. I curse the fates for their humor.Your eyes are still locked on mine. I walk up to you and embrace you. I kiss those fantastic lips once again. I whisper in your ear. "Go. See me again when you have the chance." You look at me and I hope its too dark for you to see the single tear I let fall during my comprehension of the situation.

My heart hurts

You look at me, kiss me on my hands, neck and lips. You smile with your naiveness and try to tell me that everything will work out. You tell me that we will discuss this situation in person on Monday. You claim to have waited a long time to get over the fear of approaching me, and since the feeling is mutual, you must pursue these feelings that have been harbored for so long. You kiss me again, on my neck. I hear him call again for you. You look at me, ask for forgiveness and before I know it, you are beside him, looking like the ideal couple.

My heart breaks...

Randomness

I realized how much I hated working in the affluent side of town when I saw a couple pushing a stroller meant for twins, and instead of twins it contained four poodles wearing pink argyle sweaters. The cashier at the liquor store said she was worried about me because she hadn't seen me the day before.
We promised ourselves we'd wait until our fifth wedding anniversary to tell our families we met in a porn chatroom.

When the reverend asked me whether or not I'd read the whole, entire Bible, I didn't hesitate in answering, "No, but I read the whole, entire Harry Potter series in one weekend."

As my knife found his flesh, I never would have guessed that my would be rapist would later sue me for his medical bills.

I have a twisted family that made me believe that chocolate milk came from brown cows until I was 14.

I received a call at 3am last night from a very exicted young man who confided in me explicitly, and asked me to keep it secret, about his first homosexual experience earlier that evening, and all I could do was say "sorry sir, you have the wrong number"

As I felt the skin of my upper thigh tug as I tried to pull the small bottle of superglue out of my right pocket, I realized something must have gone horribly wrong.

We lost the baby a week after we finished the nursery

My ex-boyfriend's ex-girlfriend, who happens to be my ex-girlfriend, is dating my ex-girlfriend and I am honestly happy for them.

After years of proclaiming my extreme objection to cell phones, all it took for me to get one was a message on my voicemail from my mother saying she had to take a cab to the emergency room because I was not home to answer her call.

The death threat wasn't even the worst part of my day.
It just dawned on me that I paid 20 cents for his text that said "Don't ever call me again."

"I would run away with you tomorrow if I weren't dating your best friend," he said while we were having sex on my best friend's bed.

When I was 14 I saw a gang of younger kids killing a wild rodent, so I went behind the apartment building and cried.

Not 24 hours after she dumped me outside of my 6th period chemistry class, she discovered she was pregnant with my baby.
_______________________________
SOME CHASE THOUGHTS
Just curious to why ppl seem to think I'm a relationship/sex therapist, when I am probably the most unexperienced person in both fields in the world. My advice seems to work though.
Also, why do ppl criticize me for pampering my pets, when my pets are the ones that love me more than anyone else in the world?
Why can't I ever seem to be satisfied with what life gives me? Why do I always want more?
Why is it easy to think of doing an action, yet when it comes time to actually act, the fear sets in.
Why is failing such a big fear for so many ppl, especially when others are depending on you?
Why can some ppl eat anything they want and stay super thin, but others smell food and automatically gain 20 lbs?
I fully understand Taylor Swift's "Teardrops on my guitar" now. She liked a guy who was her friend, but he liked someone else, so he confided in her about his thoughts of lust towards the other one, which ended up hurting Taylor. Funny how that really happens.
Or what about liking someone secretly, then finding out your friend likes that person also, not secretly, and the friend and the prospect hook up, and the friend, not knowing you were interested in the prospect, keeps calling/texting you, asking for relationship/sex advice. You know you're a good person when you give that person honest advice, and are happy that he/she has found happiness. Thankfully I'm a good person. I realized that "it wasn't mutual" without it being unspoken, and there is nothing I can do about that but keep the minor hurt inside, and feel happiness for the friends and hope that everything works out well for them.